Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room; well I'm here with you...

I DON'T KNOW HOW I SURVIVED LIVING IN FORT MCMURRAY LAST YEAR.

I can't imagine what on earth I was thinking when I thought that coming back for a second year was a good idea. And this isn't me ranting in the throes of manic depression - it's just really odd.

By all accounts, my job this year is a great deal easier than my job last year. Still, I'm ready for the year to be over and it has nothing to do with me wishing that I didn't have to teach anymore; rather, it has everything to do me looking forward to leaving this place. I imagine these feelings must have been stronger last year so I don't know what I was thinking.

At the turn of the decade, I wrote mini-novel about how there's nothing more to life than girls. That hasn't really changed so considering that that particular relationship - and by "particular" I mean that particular type of relationship - doesn't exist here, I don't know why I agreed to come back for another year.

I also realize, with even more clarity, that entertaining the thought of actually staying in Fort McMurray was lunacy. I really have no idea why that was even a consideration.

Except that I do kinda know why. There's been a curious shift in the way I understand my future and of course, it boils down to a girl.

I don't normally get the chance meet people for completely random reasons. I wish I had known this in university because I passed up on two unique opportunities. One opportunity occurred when a random girl messaged me on Facebook, soliciting information about an obscure television show we both apparently watched when we were young. The other opportunity occurred when I found a girl's credit card at Ale House and messaged her asking if she wanted it back. On both occasions, they offered to meet in person or conduct our interactions virtually. For some reason, I chose the latter on both occasions. I can't remember why. Seems like a stupid decision, in retrospect. Then again, I was going through a whole social anxiety thing, brought on by spending countless house parties sitting on couches, not interacting socially, so that may have something to do with it.

I know that correlation does not imply causation but I'd just like to note, then, that it's a curious coincidence that every time I've gotten close enough to a girl to buy her something nice for Christmas, our relationship has always terminated almost immediately thereafter. It's a rum thing but I'm almost considering it a bad omen.

Experimental parenting: name my son "Sean" and insist that it's pronounced "Seen".